How Should We Split Holidays in our Custody Order/Agreement?
Many parents are quick to alternate holidays or give too much time to the other parent without giving careful consideration to what the children enjoy and look forward to each year. When I am asked...how should I divide holiday time? My response is usually - tell me about your traditions and how you like to spend the holidays. What holidays are important to you? What holidays can you live without? Are there cultural considerations at play? Perhaps your spouse is Jewish or Muslim and you are not. What might be important to them and their cultural heritage? While the courts may try to apply a "one size fits all" schedule to a holiday schedule, each family has to customize a schedule that feels right for them. Think about what traditions matter to you, what traditions matter to your children and try to put forward a holiday schedule that keeps those traditions and schedules in mind. My family and I did a HUGE Christmas Eve party every year with all of our friends, neighbors, and family that me and my children loved. I made sure that I had my children every Christmas Eve. My ex was from a different country, so I traded Christmas Eve to ensure that he had the holiday that meant something to him. Just because a "typical" schedule had parents alternating Christmas did not mean that it was appropriate for our family to adopt an alternating Christmas schedule. Be thoughtful about holidays and special occasions. These are times when memories are made for children. It will either be a time for reflection and joy or pain and acrimony. We want to be creating beautiful memories for our children so take some time to think about what traditions you want to fight for when crafting a holiday schedule that will last at least the first eighteen years of their lives and hopefully a lifetime.